Lovely Monster Page 13

  When I looked at her, she looked amused. “I thought people with green eyes were suppose to be the jealous ones,” she said.

  “I'm not jealous.”

  “Sure, Falon. That's why it looked like you wanted to punch our waiter,” she replied, rolling her eyes teasingly.

  “I did not.”

  “You really should see your face when you're lying.”

  “I'm not lying.”

  “It's kind of cute,” she said, laying her chin against her folded hands. She smiled sweetly at me, and batted her eyelashes, as if she were the one trying to come off cute.

  I found myself laughing at her. “Shut up.”

  “Aw, is someone feeling bashful?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “This isn't cute,” I told her.

  She shrugged, but didn't stop looking at me. “Of course it it. I'm cute, you're cute, we're all cute,” she replied with a smile.

  “And our waiter was cute, and our hostess was cute. . .”

  “You thought our hostess was cute?” Julie said immediately.

  I shrugged. “She was kind of cute, in a stuck up, too good for you kind of way,” I told her.

  Julie glared at me. “You have horrible taste. She's really old too,” she protested.

  “Around Ava's age.”

  “Too old for you,” Julie said quickly.

  “Liam doesn't seem to mind age.”

  “Because Liam is a weirdo. If he's your best defense-”

  “When did I suddenly need a defense?” I asked, laughing as Julie came to a stop and looked at me.

  She smiled, and shrugged. “Well, I am questioning your sanity. You'll need a good defense to prove me wrong,” she replied.

  “You question my sanity because I thought our hostess was cute?”

  “Yes!”

  “Why would that be crazy?” I asked, raising a brow.

  Julie stared at me with a dumbfounded expression. “Seriously? Falon, she was rude to you,” she argued.

  “Some guys like girls that are mean to us.”

  She glared at me. “You're lying. You're not attracted to girls like that,” she told me.

  “Oh really? What kind of girls am I attracted to then? Since you know me so well,” I asked, leaning forward. I rested my crossed arms against the table.

  Julie leaned forward too, smiling that sly smile of hers, as if she had the upper hand. “Yeah, really. You like more laid back girls, with short hair and green eyes, and can quote books with her captivating voice,” she replied.

  “That sounds an awful lot like a certain girl I know,” I said back. I wasn't sure why I was playing along. It was like my mouth was moving without my mind being able to stop it.

  “It is.”

  “What makes you think I'd be attracted to her?”

  “Well,” Julie hesitated, then stared up from under her lashes. “You were going to kiss her.”

  The lump that appeared in my throat was sudden and unexpected. I knew the cause. She had called me out on my moment of weakness at the arcade. It hadn't been simply playing around for her.

  She had known I wanted to kiss her, just like I had known she wanted to kiss me.

  “No comeback?” she asked, with her crooked smile mocking me.

  I was suddenly wishing the flirty waiter would come back and save me from my embarrassment, but he was nowhere to be seen. It was just me, and my shame.

  “Cat got your tongue?”

  “Looks like it,” I replied.

  “I guess this means I was right.”

  I glared at her, and she bit her lip. When she did, it sent an automatic chill down my spine that then erupted into an explosion of fluttering in my stomach.

  “I guess so.”

  “Nothing to add?”

  I looked to her, and saw the way her eyes were wandering over me. She wanted to hear something I wasn't able to tell her. Something that wouldn't come out of my mouth, even if I wanted it to.

  “Here are your drinks,” the waiter said, coming to our table. He rested our glasses against the table and then looked to us both. “Have you decided what you would like to order?” he asked.

  I realized that neither of us had looked at the menu. Julie looked to the waiter with a small smile. “The steak. Well done,” she said.

  The waiter wrote it down, and then looked to me. I nudged toward her. “Same as the lady.”

  He nodded, writing down my order. “Okay. I'll be back soon with the appetizers, and your food will be done shortly,” he told us, looking to Julie once more before leaving again.

  She didn't look like she wanted to speak to me at the moment. I couldn't say I blamed her much.

  I just knew that if I didn't start talking again, the friendship line could easily be erased as the romantic one had been.

  “You know, I'm not going to do it,” I told her, smiling slightly.

  She looked at me and raised a brow. “Not going to do what?” she asked.

  “Dance.”

  Julie broke out into a smile, though I could still see her thoughts turning in her head. “Of course you are. You have to dance with me at least once,” she told me.

  “I did, at the arcade,” I reminded her.

  “That wasn't really dancing. That was a simulated game of colored tiles,” she told me.

  “I really don't know how to dance,” I told her, but realized my voice had dropped.

  Julie shrugged. “I'll teach you. It's not difficult,” she said.

  “It will be for me,” I said with a laugh.

  She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I taught you Trigonometry. Trust me, dancing will be easy,” she said. She laughed when I did, because we both knew it was true.

  And the truth was, I did want to dance with her. Selfishly, I wanted to hold her again, feel the way her body could mold into mine, and fit like a missing piece. I wanted that peach scent of hers to envelope me again while her bottle green eyes looked into mine.

  Yes, I was a selfish creature. I was slowly coming to realize this. I wanted to indulge without giving anything in return, and that wasn't a good thing for either of us.

  I just couldn't pull myself away.

  The waiter came back with a basket of hot, buttered rolls, and told us that the food would be done in a few minutes. This time, Julie didn't look at him, but rather ate a roll and listened to the song the band was playing.

  When he left, she looked at me again. “What's your favorite song?” she asked, leaning against the table.

  I smirked, shrugging. “I don't know. At the moment, I've been in a Nirvana mode. So, Smells Like Teen Spirit,” I replied.

  She grinned. “Great answer. I don't think anyone can have just one favorite song. It's like picking only one favorite book,” she told me.

  “Well, what about you? What's your favorite song at the moment?” I asked her.

  She considered it for a moment, and then smiled. “Linger, by the Cranberries. But, I have started listening to this band called Echosmith. I don't usually listen to a lot of new music, but they're really cool. So my second favorite song at the moment is Cool Kids,” she replied.

  “What are you reading at the moment?”

  “Perks Of Being A Wallflower, for the fifth time. It's a quote book, but it's also beautifully written, and it has great music references,” she told me. “You said you don't read much, so I guess there's no reason to ask what you're reading at the moment,” she then added.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Just because I don't read like it's a drug doesn't mean I'm not reading,” I informed her.

  Julie smiled. “So are you reading anything right now?” she asked.

  “No,” I answered, and she started to laugh. “But I finished 'Salems Lot about a week ago,” I replied.

  Julie gasped excitedly. “Ooh! A Stephen King book, finally! Okay, here's a quote,” she said holding out her finger for me to pause. Her thumb and forefinger rubbed her chin, and she stuck her nose up to look more superior. “You'll enjoy
Mr. Barlow. And he'll enjoy you.”

  I laughed, because it was one of the few quotes that I had read myself. That, and she was adorable when she pretended to be Mr. Straker. It sounded better coming from her than it had him.

  “I told you, I've read a lot of books,” she replied with a grin.

  “Slowly, I'm beginning to grasp the concept of a lot of books. You're like a word addict,” I told her.

  “A word addict?” she said, then nodded slowly. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I do like a heartfelt monologue every so often. Declarations of eternal love, or vows of revenge, that's my literary fix,” she replied, grinning at me.

  And I'm addicted to you. It was honest, but silent. She would never hear that from me.

  We saw the waiter come this time, and he rested our plates in front of us. It looked like rich food to me. No grease on the plate, everything cornered into it's own designed place, and nice silverware laid out in front of us. And, it smelled amazing.

  “Is there anything else I can get you?” he asked us.

  “No, thank you,” Julie said, looking to me.

  “We're good,” I told him, working up a cocky grin to give the waiter. He nodded, looking away from me and leaving.

  Julie smiled at me, and then looked to her plate and started cutting her steak. After smiling in return, I did too, and we both started eating our dinner.

  The steak was juicy, and great, and better than the TV dinner steak that I ate on a regular basis. I wouldn't tell Ava that, but I would leave the hint for Dr. Marstens to bring her to the restaurant. Maybe then Ava would quit buying them.

  “So, graduate,” Julie began, swallowing down her food. “Did my parents get you about jobs?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Kind of. They weren't bad about it,” I told her.

  “Do you have any future plans?” she then asked.

  “Not really. I have no clue what I want to do next,” I said. I feared that she might jump on me again, the way she had at the hospital when I had said I wasn't motivated.

  Instead, she laughed. “That sounds about like you. You never have a clue about anything,” she teased.

  I laughed. “True. The only thing I want to do is out of reach. I guess I'll end up as a bag boy or something in the end,” I told her.

  “What do you want to do?” she asked, suddenly very interested.

  Telling her seemed dumb, because of the absurdity of what I wanted, but in her green eyes, I found possibilities beyond my wildest imagination. Everything seemed possible around Julie.

  I leaned forward, feeling my words envelope me. “I just want an old truck with a full tank of gas, and I'll take that truck, and hit the open road, and when I run out of gas, I'll find a way to get more. I just want to drive, and see what the rest of the world has to offer. I want to be blissfully unaware of where I'm going, and what I'll do next. Ride by the seat of my pants,” I told her with a laugh.

  Julie looked thoughtful, and a smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. “No safety nets, just living,” she stated, and I nodded.

  “Which is why it will never happen.”

  She raised her brows, staring at me as if I had committed treason. “Why? It could happen. People do it all the time,” she replied.

  “People with money to blow and no responsibilities. I could never leave Ava like that, and I'd probably end up starving on the side of the road being eaten by vultures,” I said, making sure she saw clearly what I meant.

  Julie wasn't deterred. “That was the point of the entire adventure. Not knowing where you would end up, what would happen, I thought that was the whole point!” she said.

  “But it's also the downfall. Could you do it?” I asked, knowing she wouldn't be able to do that to her family either. As she had said, we were pieces of the same puzzle.

  She leaned back and sighed. “Probably not. But my dream is the same as yours. I don't want to be a nurse. I wish I could just take my sketchbook and pencils and sit along the sides of bridges and parks and draw whatever catches my eye. I wish I could get paid to draw people, and live without knowing where I'll be when the sun comes up,” she replied.

  I smiled, because I could see her doing it. I could see her drawing, and having no money and being perfectly happy.

  “Whether you believe so or not, we're both dreamers, Falon. We're a rare breed nowadays,” she told me with her soft smile.

  Maybe that was true. I had never thought of myself as such, but I always had been. Julie had only brought it out and showed me the truth so I couldn't deny it.

  The waiter brought our check, and laid it against the table. Julie and I both reached for it, but I was quicker than she was. I opened it despite her protests.

  The amount was definitely higher than any Burger King would have been, but I pulled out the cash and paid it.

  “This is my treat to you. You can't pay for your own meal,” she told me, snatching it away from me.

  “I was given strict orders to pay. Think of it as Ava paying for our meal,” I told, her.

  Julie frowned. “Your sister took you out. This was my celebration,” she told me.

  “You can always tell Ava that you're the reason I come home with her money. You can tell her at my funeral,” I replied with a smile.

  She sighed, and laid the check down. She was still frowning. “Because I 'm worried about your welfare, I'll give in, but I will get my revenge,” she promised.

  Then, I saw her grin, and she stood up, walking around and grabbing my hand. She pulled me from my seat and toward the dance floor. “I'm getting my revenge now, and if you don't dance with me, I'll tell Ava that you were rude,” she told me.

  I laughed as I walked along with her. She pulled me onto the dance floor, and then released my hand and went up to the band. I stood there, staring at the couples who looked at me as if I was the strangest creature they had ever laid eyes on. I smiled crookedly.

  Julie whispered something to the band and then they smiled and nodded, and began playing a song. Julie came back to me, and smiled as she place one hand in mine, and the other on my shoulder.

  “Just follow my lead,” she said softly, as the band began to play their instruments to the tune of Linger.

  We began to move, and I looked down to my feet. They tried to follow as hers did, moving forward, and then to the side, but I stepped on her toe, and I looked up to apologize.

  Julie smiled and squeezed my hand. “It's okay. Just look at me. You'll dance better if you're not looking down,” she told me, and I did as she instructed.

  I could feel people look at us, and I felt as if I had been transported back to the arcade again. I knew they were talking about us, or making assumptions in their mind. I knew the words I used to describe myself were probably crossing their minds too, and I grew stiff in her arms.

  Julie released my hand, and linked her arms behind my neck. When I stopped moving, she placed her hand against my cheek. I saw the compassion in her eyes, the fear too.

  “Ignore them. It's just you and me out here,” she whispered. I found solace in her words, despite my growing panic, and linked my hands behind her back. She slipped her hand around my neck again, and we danced.

  Holding her was one of the most amazing past times a guy could have. She was so fragile, and yet, so alive. As if electricity ran through her veins and sparked anyone who got close. I could feel it transfer to me each time it pulsed.

  No place in the world could hold me the way her eyes could. Nothing could make me feel so safe, and yet, so vulnerable. Only Julie. She held that power over me.

  “You're dancing,” she told me, with her sweet smile.

  I laughed. “I realized,” I replied.

  “And you said you couldn't.”

  “I guess you proved me wrong,” I informed her.

  “Wouldn't be the first time,” she said, and things seemed to stop. She had been right. There wasn't anyone else on the dance floor but us. Just her, and me, and our arms wrapped around each other.
<
br />   Just us. Alone. With the Cranberries melody playing behind us, and Julie's hands moving to the back of my head, and her leaning up to place her lips against mine. Just us. Alone. With Julie kissing me, and me kissing her back.

  There was an explosion inside of me that I had known would happen if I ever touched her mouth. I thought to the times I had thought about the way it would feel to kiss her.

  This made all of those thoughts look novice. Kissing Julie was better than anything I could have ever imagined. It was thrilling, and stimulating, and exciting and forthcoming.

  The way her hands could bring me in, and leave a warm trail where they had moved up my neck would always be a mystery to me. How soft her skin was against my fingertips, how inviting her mouth was to mine, was beyond imagination.

  I can't kiss her. I'll die. The thought was sudden, and it brought me back to reality. Her hands were on me, her mouth against mine, and the entire world was watching.

  The entire world was watching the Beauty kiss the Beast.

  In their heads, they were laughing. I knew they were. What we were doing looked perverse and unnatural. Someone as gorgeous as Julie shouldn't kiss someone as ugly and deformed as me. It wasn't natural.

  I pulled away, and when I did, I heard Julie breathe in deeply. I could still feel her hands on me, and I watched how easily her eyes opened. Her face was a picture of innocence, and she looked at ease.

  Until she looked at my face. Her features, which had once been soft, contorted and she stared at my face with a mix of fear and hesitation. “What's wrong, Falon? Did I-”

  I removed her hands from my neck, and unchained mine from hers, I looked up to see people looking our way. I could see the judgment in their eyes as they looked at their partners and tried to keep their attentions off of us.

  “Falon?” Julie said, more persistently. Her hand reached out for me, and I retracted. I did what I did best: hide.

  I moved past her and walked quickly from the dance floor, toward the parking lot. By the time I made it to the back of my car, I was panting. Not from exhaustion from walking away so quickly but by what had just happened, how everything had suddenly changed and now, I knew there was no way of getting it back.